This is a good movie.

     'Wha-??' you say, 'you mean that dumb movie with Pia Zadora?'  (Any mention of this film obliges a mention of Pia Zadora, as this was her first film appearance, at about seven years of age.)

     Yep, I mean that one.  Of course, I'm not saying it's the kind of thing Kubrick would make (maybe John Waters).  But when you take it as what its supposed to be, a kids film, it does a terrific job.

     The Christmas season is nearing on Earth, but on Mars, the Martian children are listless.  The decision is made that what they need is that seasonal symbol of fun and childhood dreams, Santa Claus.  On a mission to kidnap Santa, the martians also pick up two Earth children, Billy and Betty Foster, who tell them they can find Santa at the North Pole.

     The Martians kidnap Santa, take him back to Mars and don't plan to bring him back.  Of course, Santa may well have other ideas...

     Obviously not intended as a serious piece, most critics of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians miss the most salient point--it's a kid's film!  The outlook of the entire production is a silly one -- counterpointed against the 'serious' attempts of Ed Wood-style opii (or Kevin Costner films), it succeeds with what it tries to do while they fail.

     Special effects, sets, and photography are all as competent as any good lower-budget production.  Some scenes standout as particularly effective, including the Martian robot, Torg, pursuing the escaped children at the north pole.  The silly premise is entirely appropriate for a kids film and tongue is firmly in cheek--the end result is a good fantasy for children, and a fun knockabout that adults can enjoy, too, as a piece of camp kitsch.

     Music by Milton Delugg, who would later be the bandleader for The Gong Show (no foolin'!). The catchy theme song will stay with you...forever, no matter what you do.

     The Martians have helmets stylized with inverted diving masks and flexible fittings for gas stoves.  (Martian haute coutre, I'm sure.)

('On Christmas Day, you'll wake up and you'll say, hoo-ray for Santy Claus!')